Praxis Pre-Program Review

Tonight I submitted my pre-program deliverables for Praxis. In honor of this, I thought I would discuss the deliverables and the work I did to complete them.

1. Professional Headshot, a photo featuring me wearing nice clothes as for an interview. I enlisted my dad to help me, and we went into our backyard to take the photo.

DSC_1323.JPG

You can’t even tell that it’s weeds behind me!

2. Email 101, a professional email address and a lesson on email etiquette.

3. Professional Testimony, two reviews of working with me were required, I had three. I reached out to my youth pastor, Tim, the owner and editor of the Millstadt News, Abbie, and the co-owner of Over the Invisible Wall, Justine.

4. LinkedIn Profile, update it to tell a story and engage visitors. I added more detail to my work experience, including a link to my Panera Job Review post. I looked at some other participants’ LinkedIns for examples to help me.

5. Personal Website, post about how I’m “breaking the mold” and a site to build my brand. I had built my website before I started any of the work, back in June. My breaking the mold post is my birthday reflection post describing how I worked toward my goals over the last year.

6. Pitch Deck, a slide show that tells my story and showcases my skills and projects and makes a value proposition to business partners. This was the hardest of the deliverables for me. I labored over the design, presentation, wording, and big picture.

Busy, Busy

I’ve gotten a lot done over the last couple days. I put in time and effort to make my pitch deck for Praxis something I can be proud of. I did research and more writing for a blog post I’ve been creating for Over the Invisible Wall. I also answered a question on Quora.

I felt stressed with the end of September looming having lost five days to wisdom teeth recovery. That after I gave myself a break when my family went on vacation. 15 days out of 60 not used productively and I honestly hated it. I could have done more, better, faster if I’d worked some on vacation. I knew I was getting my wisdom teeth out, but had no idea how horrible the aftermath would be.

Life is unpredictable, but what can be controlled has potential.

Back from Hiatus

Sorry for the unexpected and unannounced hiatus over the last week. I got my wisdom teeth out last Wednesday and spent my time in bed or laying on the couch until Sunday.

After that, frankly I forgot to take the time to come back and post here in the time I had available.

Since my recovery, I’ve worked on my pre-program Praxis deliverables and found on-demand merch printing options for Over the Invisible Wall. Deadlines for Praxis are looming, so I will be posting but it will likely be short for a few days while I finish up.

Life Is What You Make It (3)

I frequently think about my life, what I want to accomplish, what I’ve done so far, and how long I have to do everything I dream of. This is a series featuring things I’ve written about such things, both poetry and prose.

This post contains profanity and mentions suicidal thoughts. If you are not comfortable with such things, feel free to skip this post.

[Don’t Forget] Low Self-Esteem and a Desire to be Remembered

18 September 2016

I don’t have a very

high self-esteem,

I don’t put much stock

in that I’m a human being.

I know that I’m valued,

worth a motherfucking bunch,

But it doesn’t always feel that way —

like when a bully steals your lunch.

I don’t very much love myself

any which way.

I easily find myself

depression-ly swayed.

I try to avoid

such dark, self-hatred filled thoughts,

But they sometimes come up

and shred me apart.

I find myself wondering

“what more can I do?”

I find myself wondering

if life’s worth living through.

I feel as though I’ll waste my life,

fuck everything over,

I don’t get to live twice.

That’s not an excuse

to “have a fun time,”

Or “eat, drink, and be merry,

for tomorrow we die,”

Because I want my life

to be worth remembering.

I don’t want to be forgotten

or remembered because

My life was lived rotten.

I want my time used best it can,

none of it, no moments,

left to fester in the trash can.

It’s a lot of pressure

I put on myself,

when I want my life story

to not rot on a shelf,

With no one caring what all I did,

with no one caring if I even lived.

I could be made up,

for all they may know,

So for evidence, what will I have to show?

I don’t want my story

to just be mistakes,

Or for it all to just have been a waste.

If it’s not worth

recording, reading, remembering, or reliving,

Is there even a point

to my life continuing?

Death is inevitable,

should I even try?

I want so badly to know

if I’ll really use my time,

But I won’t know that

until I’ve lived my life.

Right now, right now

I could not, would not

die satisfied

That my life was worth

all the time I spent

Making it what it is,

Wouldn’t die satisfied

that I’ll be remembered

For too much longer

after I’ve died.

Even if someone

published all that I’ve written,

I’d still be forgotten,

Forget having never been smitten

or ever in love,

That doesn’t matter so much to me

As my life story

being worth  my time,

being worth remembering.

I’ve been told I’m a good poet,

so maybe, just maybe,

There’s something to that

and my life won’t,

at least not in its entirety,

be forgotten and allowed to rot

in the annals of history’s

ever-growing bookshelf.

 

Wisdom Teeth

Tomorrow I’m getting my wisdom teeth taken out, so I wrote a quick poem about it.

My mouth is too small,

so I must alter my jaw,

remove four teeth,

I’m glad that is all.

It could have been worse

had they poked through the gums,

said, “Hello world!”

as though we were chums.

Poetry Prompts: “Cold Showers”

This was written and posted at 11:44 pm on September 17th.

If you have any suggestions for poetry topics or writing prompts that struck your fancy, share them in the comments!

The prompt, taken from Think Written, was “cold water.”


Icy,

Shivers,

Goosebumps,

Curling toes,

Rubbing arms,

Shaking.

The water runs

over me like rain,

and it feels like rain,

it will not warm,

it’s all used up,

my shower’s

forcibly cold.

Poetry Prompts: “Apple Dumplings”

Recently I have been struggling with my writing habits and motivation to work on things. To add some more fun to writing poetry and get some fodder for inspiration, I decided to find some poetry prompts.

If you have any suggestions for poetry topics or writing prompts that struck your fancy, share them in the comments!


The prompt, taken from Think Written: Grandma’s Kitchen

 

Image result for apple dumplings
Apple Dumplings (picture credit)

 

“Apple Dumplings”

An evening long ago,

distant, as it feels,

a lesson in preparing

an after-dinner treat.

We core apples,

mix cinnamon and sugar,

roll out pie crusts,

butter the lot.

Together we made

apple dumplings

and small pieces of

cinnamon sugar pie crust.