“[For the Time Being] Melancholy Memories” (Poem)

When something bad happens,
You have to move on,
You have to let the pain fade.
You can’t stand still,
Soaking
Saturated
in the melancholy.
But how easy is this,
How easy is it to let the
Pain
Sink into the back of your mind?
To deaden the issue?
To dilute the event til
it could have been a dream?
This depends…
You have to realize
It’ll still be there
tomorrow,
next month,
next year,
next decade,
next century.
You can’t erase it,
But you can gradually move it
Closer to the back of your mind.
Not forgetting,
Just taking it out of the present
For the time being.


This was originally written November 2013. I made a few changes to that draft.

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Social Media and Attention

We all know that social media can be a time suck. That we should spend less time on it. That it can ruin our attention spans.
I’m finding that to definitely be the case.

I stopped using Discord because I was wasting a lot of time whenever I logged in. I had been spending hours talking to people, reading messages, etc. Then I stopped. Not even intentionally, but I got so busy with Praxis and everything I was doing I never thought to log in.
I went on yesterday and remembered why I quit.

I stopped using DeviantART sort of accidentally, similar to my unexpected unplanned leave from Discord. I got busier, so I didn’t have time to go on. I wasn’t posting, so I wasn’t wondering if people were commenting or favoriting my posts.
I was on briefly the other day and was surprised by how many comments I had as well as how many people were still interacting with some of my posts.

I’ve been spending more time on social media. Not on purpose. I go on and scroll. I read the posts, look at the pictures, sometimes hit the like button or leave a comment. On Twitter sometimes I’ll read a thread on a controversial post, or something I find fascinating. On Facebook sometimes I’ll look at the comments and it’s either a huge fighting mess or people say some fun things.
Either way it’s wasting my time. And I can tell that it’s making me more prone to distraction.

I’m trying to read through Breaking Smart Season 1 (for Praxis, but I also want to read it). I keep getting distracted. When I got to that piece of content, I wished it was a video series instead of articles. Reading articles felt like it would take so much more time.
That could be because I’ve gotten into the habit of using watch time to also do something else, like knit, color, or draw. I love that I can consume content while doing something else I want to do. In fact, I don’t knit or color unless I’m consuming some kind of content, be it for entertainment or information.

I can see the correlation to social media, because when I’m getting distracted, it’s with a desire to open Facebook or Twitter or Instagram.

I’m not going to quit all social media, in part because I use it to promote this blog and connect with people. I am going to cut back. By paying attention to the time I’m spending on social media and being tactful about when I allow myself to go on, I can limit the amount of distraction it gives me.

Wasting Time

I had a lot I wanted to do today.

It’s my day off and Praxis Wednesday. This is my chance to do what I want all day, focus my time and energy on my projects.

I changed my plans this morning, though.

My boyfriend said he hadn’t slept at all last night and was trying to get off work early. He needed a ride. So I picked him up at work and then stayed at his house for a few hours. By the time I got home, I felt like I’d wasted some time that I could have used to write.

I want to finish my novel this year. To finish the first draft by July I need to write around or more than 500 words a day. I haven’t written any yet.

I want to read more, but I haven’t done any reading.

I have content to go through for Praxis this month. I read one article and watched one short video.

I wasted my time before the Praxis call, too. I was eating dinner, which I spent 30-40 minutes cooking when I got home, and instead of listening to the content, I browsed Facebook.

I still have time left in the day, sure, but I could have done more by now. I could have blown myself away by how productive I was. Instead I still haven’t done anything I planned to.

This Post is Clickbait

Clickbait is a negative phenomenon online where the title or featured image of an article or video entices you to click. Then the article or video does not discuss that topic.

This isn’t always how the word is used now, but it was a couple of years ago. The common usage is about it grabbing your attention. Hence, clickbait. But the word “bait,” has an implication of drawing you in for bad reasons.

That thumbnail on Youtube that never appears in the video and never discussed? Possibly clickbait.

That title that really grabs your attention but the introduction makes you doubt that’s the topic? Possibly clickbait.

I will say it happens that titles, featured images, and thumbnails can appear clickbaity but actually deliver on the promised topic. Appearing to be clickbait does not make something clickbait.

If you have the title “Why I Will Never Eat at (Restaurant),” that looks like clickbait. If you tell your story succinctly and don’t waste time getting to the why, it’s not clickbait. If, on the other hand, you follow the model of a lot of “storytime” Youtubers, and take a while to meanderingly get to your point, that’s sort of clickbait. It’s not entirely, because you do discuss the topic, but you waste time getting to the point.

Clickbait is bad because it wastes people’s time and makes them distrustful of your content. If you have a video or article that will seem clickbaity, I don’t think you need to specify that it isn’t clickbait. Rather, you need to grab and hold people’s attention and be aware of the time you are asking them to spend with you.

Don’t waste people’s time with your content and they won’t cry “clickbait” with every engaging title.

Life Is What You Make It (5)

I frequently think about my life, what I want to accomplish, what I’ve done so far, and how long I have to do everything I dream of. This is a series featuring things I’ve written about such things, both poetry and prose. The previous parts are here.


It’s my anniversary with my boyfriend. We’ve been together a year. A whole year! I can’t believe it’s been so long.

The past is important in shaping us into who we are today.

We live out each moment, each day, each week, each month, each year… But sometimes we forget where we came from, what shaped us into the people we are now.

Our memories are imperfect, sometimes even fabricated.

We’re able to record our thoughts, our actions, our lives more easily than ever before. People post on Facebook, and the next years, Facebook shows it to them again. They get reminded of their memories because they recorded them.

I’ve always loved journaling. For a while I hoped my journal would matter to others in the future. Now my past journal entries matter to me. I have a window into who I was in years past, a clearer view of how I’ve changed. I wrote about what was happening in my life. I might not remember a lot of that otherwise.

I can clearly see because of my recordings how time has passed, how my life has changed. I can track where I’ve been to see how I got where I am now.

We all need to know where we’ve been to understand where we are.

I journal and blog and date all the creative work I do.

How do you remember?